Trouble never felt so good

Im in a small team
But maybe I shouldn't be?
We're all similar so differently

And there you go being overly friendly
And I just gives those looks out like candy
And we live it like were dreaming
 cause it's about what we haven't seen

Whats a night without a cigarette
Doing things we never wanna forget
You pour my life into a wine glass
Conversations get heated and were smoking too fast
I speak about love lust death and fate
You fall every time and I always become your soulmate

You say I'm trouble
But you're trouble

It's the sound of your name
That silences my demons and puts them to shame.

Perhaps so

When you think you love someone you naturally want to become a better individual, you aspire to be better, to obtain a softer touch, a sweeter smile, a louder laugh, and a nicer smell. You automatically begin to place this persons interest before your own. Maybe it's not even about falling in love with someone for dancing with your angels, but falling in love with someone who has the power to silence your most powerful demons with the single sound of their name. I mean do we really know what we think we know? When you're out of love you're most likely to do anything just to feel something. And sometimes hell is meant to be seen so that we appreciate heaven when it comes ... Perhaps love is meant to save us from ourselves.

Expectations

What should we really expect from today and on after?

pity, bliss, or maybe non stop laughter

The outcome of a decision from a distant field of smiles

With sleepless nights of an unforgettable series of miles

What should we actually expect to gain?

Possibly a day, a week, a month with no pain

Or a strengthful yet naive mended beating heart

But I know we've already made a mark

What could we literally expect say

The truth; A lie, or the dream we dreamt during the day

But, I can tell you what I expect from after today

wakeful nights of you screaming my name

comfortably cryless hours and my hand in yours

The beat of our hearts dancing of course

in our dimful room beneath the light of our love

and he who introduced us; watching from above.

You'll show me what you expect from today and on after

when your words tickle my heart; & fill me up with laughter, 

the pain my cheeks feel from the smile to each ear,

Are all continuous reminders that your heart is here

a victorious outcome of a stolen heart

because we couldn't stand to be apart

being so fearless with every step we take

and every memory we naturally make.

What can we really expect from after today?

it's something I cannot predict simply live it day by day

but I dream of a permanent smile with you as my shelter

and that's what makes our present stay for the later.

Do we just live it and wait

and hope our plans do not change

or do we live a dream and make our own fate?

An open letter to the XX

At one point in my life I watched you, watch him, while he watched me. I didn't know if I should feel sorry for you or for him. But I wanted him, man, I wanted him so badly. It was almost as if I couldn't resist him... and he knew it. He needed me; may have been safe to say we needed each other. I remember thinking to myself: "I'm going to take all that I can from him. He's going to be mine." Completely dismissing the fact that he was yours, I acted upon this desirable attraction. He didn't remind me with any actions either. But you know something, there was something about the innocence of it all that was as enticing as the desert he'd have prepared for me. It made them all want some. There was something about the innocence he'd taken from me that I discovered something about myself, about him. I kept at it, I kept at him. He kept coming back but always went back home to you. He was mine for dinner but yours for breakfast. Darling, it was liberating in a chained up at a buffet kind of way. He was mine from a far but he was yours from so close. Darling, you had nothing to worry about. He wasn't going to leave you, not for me, at least. Unless, you left him too. He wasn't going to just walk out on you. He's not a quitter. Besides, it was simply platonic. Until, you allowed it to get as far as it did. Yeah, because where there is chaos there is calculation.

Either way, we needed a miracle and what we got was each other. That's the funny thing about seizing the moments; they'll come back to haunt to you. To better understand the future maybe we sometimes we need to go back in time. 

At one point in my life I watched you, watch him, while he watched me. I know now that it wasn't him I felt sorry for. He needed someone to share his love and passions with. He has a certain darkness that allows you to see the stars. And you were just way to used to being left that you couldn't ever fully let him in. He's a gentleman who lived in an unappreciative place. & I'm a woman who loves diamonds. You made him feel dim; so he did what he knew to do; he shined in a world of vibrancy. I go back to that place sometimes, and wonder... Where would we be, had I not walked into his life that day? I can thank a million broken roads that led us straight to each other. It would've been foolish of us to not create our own magic. You know, some things are better off as memories only to look back on how far we've come. I may not have acted morally acceptable and he may not have been thinking straight but sometimes there's gotta be certain risks you're just willing to take.

The truth about the right person for you

The "right people" will never waltz right into your life at the "wrong time" because the right people, are well, timeless. The right time is a figment of our imagination. An excuse we tell ourselves to feel a little less... cold. All time disappears when you find the right person. You aren't worried about fitting them into a list of complexities in your planner, because it just naturally happens. They just become a part of your schedule. In all honesty, the right person isn't going to make you feel like they're standing in the way of your dreams and wants. They become your motivation to keep doing better and to keep trying to improve yourself because you have all of the time in the world with them around. When "it's not the right time" what you really mean is "its not the right person." They may be perfect but not perfect for you and that's okay! But the secret to having it all is acting like you already do. Think about it, you've just won the mega millions jackpot, why on earth would you wait to cash in the winning ticket? Just do me this favor and understand that there will never be a magical time when the universe heals all of your wounds or answers all of your questions... But I know there will be a person that walks into your life that makes the issue of time irrelevant for the simple fact of not wanting to waste another minute and knows that sometimes the "magic" you've been waiting for is just you seizing the moment and  making it yours!

My wildest dream

I feel like i've wanted you

ever since I could remember

You're all I spoke about

Being in your presence

creates a great amount of fear,

You bring me to awareness

of the present, to look within my soul

It's nirvana and you deliver me there.

You kill me

when people are around

and you rebuild me when i'm alone

I can't clearly explain

But I know it's you- You take me home

You handle my bones

And allow me to voice my soul

You remind me that I'm not alone

I promise it'll be just us two

You say it's up to me- but I say its up to you

Forever comes sooner than you think

I'll leave those pieces on the floor

So I can finally have you- my dream

Together we'll head towards the door.

I feel like i've wanted you

ever since I could remember

You say you'll love me like forever will be

This time around I won't be afraid & you say "follow me"

A motion picture

So I sat there and watched him

Ready to observe poetry in motion

A moment ever lasting 

Never Exhausting 

A motion picture, he became my movie 

I became ready to wear his skin

to help him wear himself thin 

and he'll inspire the words i'll say 

While I full-fill his every crave 

His soul will create waves

In the ocean, my wavering sea, just like the moon. 

Sometimes, I wonder if it's too soon

But we're killing time just as much as we kill the days 

Ready to rebuild ourselves

and watch the world move out of our way 

.211015BPM