Thursday, April 2, 2015

An open letter to the XX

At one point in my life I watched you, watch him, while he watched me. I didn't know if I should feel sorry for you or for him. But I wanted him, man, I wanted him so badly. It was almost as if I couldn't resist him... and he knew it. He needed me; may have been safe to say we needed each other. I remember thinking to myself: "I'm going to take all that I can from him. He's going to be mine." Completely dismissing the fact that he was yours, I acted upon this desirable attraction. He didn't remind me with any actions either. But you know something, there was something about the innocence of it all that was as enticing as the desert he'd have prepared for me. It made them all want some. There was something about the innocence he'd taken from me that I discovered something about myself, about him. I kept at it, I kept at him. He kept coming back but always went back home to you. He was mine for dinner but yours for breakfast. Darling, it was liberating in a chained up at a buffet kind of way. He was mine from a far but he was yours from so close. Darling, you had nothing to worry about. He wasn't going to leave you, not for me, at least. Unless, you left him too. He wasn't going to just walk out on you. He's not a quitter. Besides, it was simply platonic. Until, you allowed it to get as far as it did. Yeah, because where there is chaos there is calculation.
Either way, we needed a miracle and what we got was each other. That's the funny thing about seizing the moments; they'll come back to haunt to you. To better understand the future maybe we sometimes we need to go back in time. 
At one point in my life I watched you, watch him, while he watched me. I know now that it wasn't him I felt sorry for. He needed someone to share his love and passions with. He has a certain darkness that allows you to see the stars. And you were just way to used to being left that you couldn't ever fully let him in. He's a gentleman who lived in an unappreciative place. & I'm a woman who loves diamonds. You made him feel dim; so he did what he knew to do; he shined in a world of vibrancy. I go back to that place sometimes, and wonder... Where would we be, had I not walked into his life that day? I can thank a million broken roads that led us straight to each other. It would've been foolish of us to not create our own magic. You know, some things are better off as memories only to look back on how far we've come. I may not have acted morally acceptable and he may not have been thinking straight but sometimes there's gotta be certain risks you're just willing to take.

The truth about the right person for you

The "right people" will never waltz right into your life at the "wrong time" because the right people, are well, timeless. The right time is a figment of our imagination. An excuse we tell ourselves to feel a little less... cold. All time disappears when you find the right person. You aren't worried about fitting them into a list of complexities in your planner, because it just naturally happens. They just become a part of your schedule. In all honesty, the right person isn't going to make you feel like they're standing in the way of your dreams and wants. They become your motivation to keep doing better and to keep trying to improve yourself because you have all of the time in the world with them around. When "it's not the right time" what you really mean is "its not the right person." They may be perfect but not perfect for you and that's okay! But the secret to having it all is acting like you already do. Think about it, you've just won the mega millions jackpot, why on earth would you wait to cash in the winning ticket? Just do me this favor and understand that there will never be a magical time when the universe heals all of your wounds or answers all of your questions... But I know there will be a person that walks into your life that makes the issue of time irrelevant for the simple fact of not wanting to waste another minute and knows that sometimes the "magic" you've been waiting for is just you seizing the moment and  making it yours!